Enthusiasms

Enthusiasms is an edited stream of consciousness, by Simen.

Welcome to the outside. The outside is like the inside, only farther out. You may notice subtle shifts in your personality as you enter the outside. This is to be expected. You may notice a curious feeling located somewhere in the middle of your face. Outsiders call this smell, and it is completely normal. If you find yourself overwhelmed with the taste of outside food, try to squeeze your nostrils. We advise that you do not stare directly into the ceiling of the outside. If you do, you will notice a very bright orb that hurts to look at, very different from the light fixtures you are used to. If you notice the ambient light level changing, or the bright orb moving, do not be alarmed. In the outside, there are no light switches to control illumination. Outsiders find it to be part of the thrill. We are confident you will, too, once you get used to it.

If you explore the outside, you will find many geographic features you are unfamiliar with as a first-time visitor. Some places, there are large bodies of water. These are much deeper than the pools you are familiar with, so be careful. Elsewhere, you will find very tall and wide formations of stone. These are commonly referred to as mountains, and can be climbed.

The biggest shock for newcomers is typically their first encounter with live animals. If you have ever visited a farm, you will no doubt be familiar with growing chambers. Live animals look very unlike any cell colonies you may have seen before. They have a limited capacity for independent thought, similar to late 21st century AIs. You may notice a curious attraction to them. You may even want to take one with you to the inside. Do not attempt this. Live animals may contaminate the inside, and such contamination may necessitate the extermination of animals not only from the inside but from the outside as well. This would be very unfortunate for outsiders. Remember, you are a guest in their house, so treat them and their property, including live animals, with care.

When you leave the inside, an outsider will typically meet you at the door to show you around. Outsiders are like us, but their personalities may have been affected by life in the outside, just like ours has been affected by inside life. They may proselytize. They may try to convince you to permanently join the outside. If they do, remember the orb above your head and think of the way it gets dark and cold for a prolonged period every day. Think of your family in the inside. Enjoy your vacation, but remember where you belong.

Carry this educational brochure with you at all times. On the back is a short dictionary of terms that may be unfamiliar to you. You may feel funny carrying around paper with ink on it, but remember that outsiders prefer to keep this ancient custom alive. When in the outside, do as the outsiders. We hope you enjoy your stay and return to the inside with renewed energy and high spirits. Remember that souvenirs must be cleared with customs upon reentry to the inside. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact us.

Nov 7, 2010