Eighty-six lies, eight dreams, entirely too little dopaminergic activity;
one summer long ago;
two hundred milligrams caffeine;
three fresh qualia (four, now);
five mislaid endorphins;
sepia-toned memories, six cloud formations, satisfactory myelination;
seven personae;
eight ignoble truths, sixteen hundred beliefs;
the chorus and only the chorus part of twenty-eight hundred songs (approx), the location of six keys (four locks);
probably about six or seven good dirty jokes, two of them about the Sámi people;
nine smells;
three sinister plans, equally many novels;
empathetic attempts, egoistic impulses;
friends and strangers, scrambled;
the beat (you know the one);
two dogs I can picture at will, four I can remember;
one pair of coordinates, eleven secrets;
five maps, two territories;
embarassment, elation, fear and frustration;
one craving, one confusion, one creation, one solution;
dead cells, cells alive;
connections, junctions, dead ends, destinations;
long routes, shortcuts;
three ethical conundrums, four trolley problems,
what is the color of the trolley anyway?
five hundred sixteen questions (exactly? no, five hundred seventeen right there);
answers, I don’t know;
disappointments, distractions, deliberate acts of rebellion;
three mirrors, three cubic centimeters of smoke;
fifteen smiles saved up for a rainy day, six rainy days, two sunny with scattered clouds, nine forecasts, three shadows on a wall;
nine visual aids (don’t look at me like that!);
two desires;
the emptiness of space, compacted waste (molecular);
sentiments, opinions, arguments, loose cannons, unspoken premises
forgotten promises, broken promises, promises held and promises to hell;
crucial neurons;
the crux of the matter;
eighteen matters settled, unsettling possibilities, impossible paradoxes;
avenues unexplored, alternatives, asides, B-sides, outtakes;
associations, assonances, examples, ideas;
one antagonist, three protagonists, two plots, two languages;
thousands of words, hundreds of curses—
not ten loves.